Thursday, December 8, 2011

A very California Thanksgiving (part 4) Birth Family edition.

Thanks to my obsession with not using flash these pictures are very regrettably sub-par as far as my intentions go to document this important moment for our family, especially Cora Grace. This is Saturday night. Kelli, Adelle, Jen and Olivia went to a play (or something), leaving my brothers in charge of caring for Bennett's 3 and Jesse's 2 (I think Kelli left the baby?) while they were also helping with Evan while I attended to the visitors I invited to Jesse's home. :) THANK YOU! So I contacted Cora Grace's Birth mother Cyndee and CG's 1/2 sister Jessica through email at the beginning of October to let them know I was coming for Thanksgiving and would they like to meet up. I heard back from Jessica, 2 weeks later. She was up beat and enthusiastic about the visit saying it was great timing cause she needed the boost right now. Great I couldn't wait either. I never heard from Cyndee. Jessica and I exchanged more emails a week or so before my trip where she said they weren't talking to each other and would I be willing to meet separately from Cyndee. I told her no problem since I never heard back from her and have no other way to reach her than the email she instructed me to use. We set up for 3pm on Saturday. Saturday came and that afternoon I realized there was an email from Cyndee that morning around 1030a (good think I have a smart phone otherwise I would never had seen the email till I got back to Tennessee!!). She said she 'heard' we were coming to town and would love to see us, that the rest of her family were excited to see us too. Wow. I have to admit, I was NOT in a good mood about it. Jessica had been responsible in getting back to me and I felt Cyndee was possibly playing games with she and her daughters relationship and now me. I didn't want to get involved or encourage further trouble and honestly almost didn't respond. After I calmed down a minute, said a prayer and called Michael for his 2 cents. I knew I should let her come and called to ask if she could come at 430. She was happy to. I was grateful they were willing to come to me. I'm sure it was a little drive but it was difficult to think of meeting them somewhere without Michael or family to be there with me. Last time we saw each other it was very emotional for them, having just lost the family Patriarch 2months before and then dealing with this surprise baby being placed for adoption. They had no preparation for these things and emotions were high. I wasn't sure what to expect so I felt most comfortable at Jesse's house. I'm so grateful to them for suggesting and allowing their house for this meeting. So... Jessica texted she was running late and didn't show up till 420 (so much for avoiding her mom etc. lol). I could tell she was nervous but so excited to see and hold, smell her 1/2 sister. :). It was very touching to see her love for Cora Grace and it was also sad because I could see her life wasn't in the right spot right now so she was clinging to this positive moment to get her through. We went in the house... and let the photos begin:

Don't you just LOVE how CG is leaning into her?! She is a doll baby and Jessica soaked it up, taking her own pictures on her phone as best she could.

Cyndee arrived soon after with the 2 youngest of CG's 3, 1/2 brothers. I believe this is Justin, he is the youngest and very attentive. All the kids have J's. Which is peculiar because literally since the second I touched my daughter, the word "Joy" came to my mind/body/thoughts etc. I asked Mike to please let us put it in her name but he said no. I may be able to still find a way, I think it is meant to be to connect her to her birth family. As you all see, she is full of Joy always.

This is Cyndee's middle son. Jared? Jacob? They never said his name while we were together and I was too busy talking about CG to ask. I regret that but hopefully we will have many more meetings and I promise to remember. It is very important to me. Cora loved them and the boys are TOTAL lovers. They love babies and kids and gave almost as much attention to Evan as they did Cora. It melted my heart.

Awe! I'm not sure the sisters name in the back but when I met her when CG was a few days old. I told her she felt very 'familiar' to me. I felt connected to her and she was kind to me in the chaos of our families first meeting 1 1/2 years ago. She brought her daughter Tori (Victoria) who has very beautiful red hair. I wouldn't mind if Cora's turned red. :).

Although blurry, these capture how engaged Cyndee was with Cora Grace. It was very sweet. Their family sure loves babies.



Tori was being very reserved in this visit. I don't know if there was a reason but I do like her a lot. She and her cousin we met at Cora's birth both wrote Cora letters to say what they felt about her and that they would always love her. I know the baby was a surprise then adoption was a bigger surprise so without proper preparation for what adoption is like, I'm sure many or all of them assumed this would be the last time ever to see Cora (when she was days old). I'm so happy she came to this play date to see her cousin and lend support. I wish I could have talked to her one on one but there just wasn't a way since I was the only parent there to answer all the questions left and right and chase the kids every direction. I wasn't meant to me this time I felt. Hopefully next time or the next time etc...


Oh poor Grandma Marlene. All the sweet lady wanted was a kiss and wouldn't you know that little baby played coy and kept faking her out! :) Marlene was sweet and patient with her. She kept hugging me and telling me what a good job I have done as a mother and that Cora is in the right home. It was touching and sad for her to admit at the same time I'm sure.







I love this picture. I can really see future Cora in their faces. To me, she has her middle brother's nose a bit but hers will be more girlie. :) She definitely has all their NON eyebrows. lol They all have such blonde eye brows it's like they aren't there. I'll be teaching her what to do for that. :)

Generation shot. :)



Someones had enough. Can you tell? It was way past her bed time with her sickness and everything so she just started melting before our eyes. As you see everyone was happy despite the meltdown. :)


I almost forgot. Cyndee looked soooo amazing! So much better then when Cora was born but lets be fair, she had just labored all night etc and had no make up on etc when I last saw her. She looked stylish, happier, vivacious. Jessica looked great too. I'm so happy her hair was down cause it was up the few times I saw her at CGS birth. I'm so happy I got to share the kids with them and catch up. It's really like a little reunion with long lost cousins or something, is the only way I can describe this. They were so supportive and loving of us and our family and are proud that we get to have Cora in our family but they also love her too. You can't go wrong with more people to love your children! :) Ahh... great visit with Cyndee etc.

6 comments:

Christian and Katie said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE this! I love that you are so willing so share your beautiful girl with everyone! Who wouldn't want a little piece of that "Joy" in their lives? You are such a good Mama.

Erin said...

This is just beautiful! I love it for everyone. I think Cora will always love knowing she had those moments with her birth family. I think it is such a good and healing thing for her half-siblings to get to see her and know she is well loved. I think it is awesome that her birth mother gets to see that everything is just fine. And I think it is wonderful for you that you have this huge extension of a family that loves your children! It just seemed like an amazing and awesome experience, and I'm just elated for everyone involved!

K said...

So sad I missed the reunion. FYI- the boys in the picture are Jared and Justin. Jacob is the oldest and I would assume he was with his dad. The boys name are in alphabetical order- that's how I keep it straight :)

The sister's name is Collette.

James' Rants said...

This is so sweet and loving, to share with them. I am in tears just thinking of my own daughter who I haven't seen in almost 5 years now. I am so glad you have that connection with the birth family.

Kim said...

Wow. Cora seems to have a great birth family. That's really awesome that so many of them came over to see her!

lovely dear juanita said...

oh my goodness! this is so sweet and dog-gone if I'm not crying! Lila, you continue to amaze me with your precious family. I am so grateful for you and love that you continue to share your children with their birth parents. I love all the love!!! you are such a great mom! such lucky kids you have, so lucky.

xoxo