Memphis or BUST

{Evan learned to push this trike up the slightly inclined driveway and let go to let gravity take him back down. He had so much fun!}

*BUST*

This past Thursday morning, I was running around getting the last bits together before taking the kids to "school" ( I hate calling it day care cause I'd have to admit I've failed at being a full-time stay at home mom) when my phone rang. It was Courtney, Evan's birth mom who is 21. She excitedly explained she was going to be in Memphis this weekend (from Carthage Mississippi) to help a friend drop a dog off. She asked if we could come meet her there. I want to see her so bad and for her to see Evan, especially since we just got to see CG's birth family but I told her we really couldn't. I had to work Saturday till 4p and Sunday was subbing in Evan's Sunbeam class. Yes I was looking forward to it but also I know from experience how precious teachers are and I was a sub - so I know how much more precious that is. That mixed with the fact, I would be working late that Thurs and all day Friday, I would have little time to clean their clothes and pack etc. As she kept talking, hoping I could change my mind, she added, "I'm getting married too". WHAAAATT? I was literally using Mike's facebook the DAY before to see how she was doing and she was making all kinds of posts last week about how lonely she was and 'if only she had a boyfriend and could get married... it's all i want' etc etc. Meaning, she didn't even have a boyfriend last week or a few days before this conversation, based on her posts. YIKES. Anyway, I really thought I should try to go now but was very conflicted. I told her not to get her hopes up but I'll talk it over with Mike to see what if anything we can do. Mike he couldn't come but pointed out how much I had just said I wanted to see her and we never know when we'll get to see her again without having to go all the way to Mississippi. He thought I could make it happen even though it might be inconvenient last minute and all and I would need to get someone to go with me of course. I got to work and saw I had a cancellation at the end of my day. I blocked it out and called one of the most amazing people I know, Amber <3. :). Her parents live outside Memphis so if nothing else, we could go say hi. She arranged a weekend for her husband and 3 boys to live without her and agreed to come with me to meet Courtney and said we could stay with her parents. She is my best friend and her family is just an extension of our friendship. I haven't met a "Berry" I don't like. :). Anyway, I let Courtney know we were on and she was very excited. Not surprisingly she had no idea what her plans were for where she would stay or even how to get there exactly. She said she was just going to "find a little church somewhere in Memphis to get married". Wow. I have never wanted to be that... "spontaneous." It was ok, I figured we'd figure it out once we were there. Later I texted her to clarify some more things and she informed me 'they' would be going through Alabama to get married first and may leave Friday night after she gets off work (i didn't ask to whom or why cause I honestly didn't think she would follow through with it. I assumed they'd break up before then. It's her record to have a boyfriend for 3 weeks, they talk about marriage and break up within days. :(.). I didn't think much of it and continued my plans to meet in Memphis. I also made plans with her to take her picture with Evan and even her husband to which she was really excited. I told her that we'd be getting in too late to visit so could we please meet Sunday morning, she said yes. It was stressful to get everything together but I did it. Mike helped by making sure the kids napped early and finished packing everything for me before bringing the kids to me when I was finished. We picked up Amber in Franklin and were on our way. The drive was nice. I call Amber my girl husband cause she knows me very well and still somehow stays my friend. lol. I like to think I know her very well too so it's always a fun conversation. Anytime Amber and I can give each other our undivided attention, it's bliss and the kids really cooperated. CG hates to be in her car seat for very long so after about 2 1/2 hours she had absolutely had it. Thankfully Jackson was just ahead and we stopped at Chick-fil-A to stretch our legs and get a bite to eat. It helped but now CG was bonefiedmiserable children in the car. We are only doing this for YOU." she said "Yes ma'am but I've been calling and waiting for this lady to call me all day." I told her in a very frustrated 'mom' voice, "Than you should have called me to tell me that before I packed these babies up and drove all these hours. We are almost to Memphis Courtney!" She didn't get it. She tried to explain that the lady with the dog was paying their way. I understand they couldn't afford to come on their own but I told her she should have called me when she couldn't get hold of the friend. I told her that I know she doesn't understand what it's like to get (herself and) two toddlers ready for a LAST MINUTE trip or to then stick them in a car for a 4 1/2 hour drive but it was miserable. BUT we were willing to do it cause we were going to get to see her for a few hours for the first time in 3 years. Sheesh. I also told her how Amber had to put her life on hold to help me, (not to mention her parents were making room for 4 house guests and they work too so they are busy as well) I didn't even mention the money this was costing our family for no reason. She really didn't have any understanding of what she did wrong. It was so frustrating and silent on the phone. I love her like a sister and Yes, I would talk to my sisters this way (they would never be this inconsiderate) but at the moment she needed a 'Come to Jesus' moment as they say here in the South. Ugh... I'm just so bummed about it. Bummed that I have to admit to myself that she is this way, likely not to change soon but over time, she is definitely capable. I love her, I haven't given up on her, I look forward to seeing her in the future, even if it was next week but not seeing her this weekend was sad. Thankfully Evan isn't old enough to understand these things but this experience prepares me to protect him in the future. In parting on the phone, Courtney got serious and said she will make it up to me and will come to us the next time she has a chance. :/ We'll see. I'm at peace about it but I can still wish for a perfect scenario right? :)

If Courtney was reading this, we want her to know we love her and are very sad we didn't get to see her this weekend. We hope to see her soon and have a great visit.

In all, we had a great time with Amber and her family. I have been around them and also Amber updates me often on their goings on so it was good to see for myself what they were up to. It was also fun to see where she grew up so much of her life when she gave me the 30min tour of her town. We thank them for their love and hospitality. <3 xo